You know that certain point of the night?  Yeah, that one.  When a few of “those guys” start getting a little too drunk and ruin a good time for everybody.  What if there was some way to soothe their fractured egos and return the bar back to a peaceful equilibrium so you can talk to that blonde and maybe hash out a few Journey tunes on the jukebox?  Tom Cruise, the world’s most famous Xenu enthusiast, has a way.  It’s simple.  Use terrible poetry. 

       In an ongoing feature over at Grantland called Rembert Explains the Eighties, Rembert Browne (who was not cognizant in the 80’s) and Bill Simmons sit down to watch a scene from that cultural nadir of the 80’s known as Cocktail.  It is certainly something worth seeing.  Cruise actually calls himself The Last Barman Poet.

 

       Enjoy.